one day at a time. (from LJ)

cookies and cream ice cream, yum. not moving out/in this weekend. waiting for the fridge and stove to arrive. there might be a problem with the size of the fridge that was ordered 'cause it might be too wide. sallgood. no rush for me. but i love the rush of having my own space. lots of things to measure and price. moms approves of place. woohoo. watched the playoffs with s. last night. hilarious. i know his momma didnt give him but one name...what is it?! ok, ok, its portuguese for baby. major throwbacks. you must not know 'bout me. ha. his one-way ticket was bought last night. boo. but its all for the good. this morning i cleaned up some mess, paid some bills, followed up on some calls and emails. possible interview soon. cross your fingers. its pretty cold outside today. the weather definitely effects the mood. just a dab o'sun will do ya some good. lil' sis teejus is running the marathon again and fundraising for AICR. she's so awesome. mos def an inspiration. maybe once im settled with the new space and possible new workplace i'll get to steppin' again. PSP brethren are in grad school. i love it. i love that they are all in my life. thank you PSP. i know that there will always be ties to certain things and people. third and final can hurt your heart. i know that some memories arent as great as others. i know that things happen for a reason, and we're here, in the now, because we made it happen this way, whether we like to believe that or not. today i am grateful for many many things. i love where i am in this life, and i love where i'm headed.

do do...do you...

...and now its in the rain. (from LJ)

m not super cranky, but just a tad. i hoped to get off of work on time today, but of course other depts dont allow you to leave on time, when they're trying to 'push patients out' so that they're able to leave on time. boo. punched out at 2030. oh well. dunno if the move is going to fully happen next weekend. i think it'll be little by little. this piece of furniture, that box of clothes, this glass, that mug...that kind of little by little. im not really in a rush, but i am a lil thrilled about the whole thing/idea/forreal-ness of it all. i hate saying no to invites/evites 'cause of work. maybe i need an RN job that runs 8-5p, 7-3p, or even 6-2p...on call weekends, be home at night, i can go to meetings, take up dance class on the weekends...but oh nosiree, gotta pay dues first. there's no RN law about paying dues, but it makes your skin tougher, and you experience more. i need better walking shoes for work. the backs of my knees ache, i cant type without a cramp starting to build above my right shoulder, geeze...complain complain complain. maybe it'll be nice to work in a sterile environment...sterile equipment, sterile scrubs, no poop, pus, funky smells, all sterile, nice and sterile. im gona have to look into it. will that dept pay off my school loans? hhhmmmmm. yes, this is me thinking outloud. its raining on and off. there are crazy lightening shows in the sky. the air is warm and the rain is cold. a high school friend is getting married soon. hoop squad/terror squad is gona tie the knot. we are definitely movin' on up. ok, thats enupps.

its in the wind (from LJ)

me oh my its been a minute. i kept reminding myself to update 'cause i paid to keep this mess up and running the way i needed it to be. im definitely in penny pinching mode...from now til eternity (or til i get my budget together) so let me gitwiddit.

much has happened since march, its damn near may!:

-i sure didnt run the shuffle. couldn't keep up with training. got lazy. worked too much, didnt sleep enough. it was clear and present with the shadows n bags under my eyes. there was no way i'd kick out 5miles and stay alive. instead my mom n other siSTARS watch teejus rock out the shuffle. she ran about 9 minute miles. gatdamn.

i talked to neens katreens the other day and homegirl ran 24 miles for her 24th birthday! whatha?? she's training for a marathon in vancouver next weekend. made me think of an ad i saw the other day, similar to this one. oddly enough an friend of mine texted the same words to me. its a sign. basically get up and go, go anywhere, just run. or so i thought...i havent hit the gym or hit the pavement in oohhhhh, about a month. i'll get around to it. once the gym opens that i signed up for, i'll remind myself just like i had to for LJ, i paid for this mess. i need to go! but for now, while its under construction and the other gyms are free...im lazy as can be. let's just pray i get rid of the lazy elements in my life.

-i'm moving out next weekend. im gettin' grownfolks. found me a 1 bedroom apartment near the hospital. walking distance, if im adventurous. im super excited but equally intimidated n scurred. the only time i left my parents house was 1). when i was 17 and boldly left for 7 days thinking i was tough. i came back. and 2). when i went to the pilipinas for PSP summer of '06. i was gone for a little over 2 months and 2.5) a couple weeks in nyc (with mangoes in '03), going to the bay for weeks at a time cuz r. lived out there, or spending weekends in LA visiting my ninang n aunties. other than that, me not living at home was unthought of. but, its possible. i just have to budget hardcore to make things happen. an air mattress with a sleeping bag thrown over it aint so bad! and who needs a tv when i have a DS, or when i dont even have time for either one. i can catch up on sleep if i have no appliances! yes, thats the ticket. let's just pray everything works out.

-permanent has taken on a new meaning. it stings a lot more than temporary does, but the important thing is life goes on. i think doctors need to take a class in people skills. sometimes they dont get that being blunt isnt the path to take when families are in a rut. im not a fan of repeat tests. repeat tests either mean a mistake has been made, and another bill has to be paid, or theyre looking for something and just not letting you know til they find it. that blows. let's just pray nothings found.

-babies, babies, babies! two of my high school prends have been blessed with babygirls. i know three people that are pregos at the moment, all in their 2nd trimester. isnt that how it always goes? it comes in threes, just like the reverse. spring has definitely sprung. its a new season, time to get happy and let the sun shine in. weddings, weddings, weddings! they go hand in hand. and if someone asks when am i next for either one, one more time, i'll implode. for a minute i'll think i want it all, then it'll go away. writing about it makes me think about...oh wait...see, there it went. nope. not for me, not right now anyway.

so thats that wiff updates. as of today: s. has been home since march, but he's leaving in a couple weeks or so. he's gonna help me get settled into the apartment, put some stuff together, then off he goes. i have to work tomorrow thru sunday. not so fun. i think my level of tolerance for some folks at work is slowly dwindling. im gonna have to fix that. the papers have been signed and faxed. just waiting on the green light. maybe i'll switch to nights, 7p-7a. that's always an option. i seriously have no idea how im going to move. i dont have sh.t packed. im working everyday, or going to class for work on the days im not on the unit. i dont know if i'll make to sandiwa (in nyc) AGAIN this year. woe woe woe is me. so much on the brain. some things just jump out at me when i thought they were neatly tucked away up there. especially in dreams. i dreamt about cats giving birth to cats, uncomfortable family events, and basketball. who does that?? but...no need for dwelling. im content with the answers ive been given. im loving the life that im living. just doing what i can to avoid any/every situation at all costs. i think its funny when folks want to tell you things, like out of the blue things, like...did i ask you about that? 'cause lord only knows why you felt you needed to mention that to me. im cool. dont need the added pinch of stress. i can predict things. its in the blood.

believe that.