today was a good day.

im about to get off work. one patient that im taking care of is a few dozen breaths closer to the pearly gates. the other patient OD'd on some laced cocaine on christmas eve. puts things in perspective. im happy that im working, and that s. is home, i love that he's here, things are just a million times better when we're near eachother, im happy that we made it to more than half of midnight mass after work yesterday, im happy that i'll be able to buy the fambam gifts even tho they'll be given after christmas, im happy for the friends i have, for the texts i got today, im happy 'cause i be's twittin' now, im happy that i'll be in florida in a few weeks, im happy my paycheck came a day early! im not so happy that i have an early day tomorrow and i'll be working a 12 hours shift, but that's ok. im happy that i got a tomtom gps thingy that reads out the street names and exits...im trying to get it to have an english or irish accent, that would be fun. im happy that my family is the way that we is. i love having bff's and sisters all in one. im happy that some older nurses here like to teach you things and will take you under their wings, the other crab ass nurses can go scuk it. im not that happy that this pot bellied, balding, weirdo comes over to the unit for absolutely no reason...and forever asks me what im up to, leave me alone. im happy that the 3rd shifters are walking into the unit now! that means i get to go home soon. im happy that s. will be here soon and that he's picking me up from work. woot!

moved.

still trying to find my purpose, or at least the meaningful, light goes off in my head and shines out of my ears...YES!...THAT is my purpose in life kinda thing. heard this in church today and shed a tear(s). its in there. i know it.

SERVANT SONG
by Donna Marie McGargill, OSM

1. What do you want of me, Lord? Where do you want me to serve you? Where can I sing your praises. I am your song.

REFRAIN: 1. Jesus, Jesus, you are the Lord. Jesus, Jesus, you are the way. 2. Jesus, Jesus, you are my Lord. Jesus, Jesus, you are the way. 3. Jesus, Jesus, be warmth of my heart. Jesus, Jesus, you are the way. 4. Jesus, Jesus, you are my light. Jesus, Jesus, you are the way.

2. I hear you call my name, Lord, and I am moved within me. Your Spirit stirs my deepest self. Sing your songs in me. (REFRAIN 2)

3. Above, below, and around me. Before, behind and all through me, your Spirit burns deep within me. Fire my life with your love. (REFRAIN 3)

4. You are the light in my darkness. You are my strength when I'm weary. You give me sight when I'm blinded. Come see for me. (REFRAIN 4)

let it be.

let there be heat: i finally turned the heat on a few weeks ago. i couldnt take it anymore. i was trying to get by with the space heaters, but no dice. it got super cold. i pushed the curtains all the way over to the left, and voilà, the heat is on. its so nice to come home to a toasty place. and its much nicer to wake up with my blood flowing rather than me being frozen like a fishstick in the freezer. those days weren't so fun.

let there be pain: oohhh, its already been broughten. womp womp. the first time i worked out with a trainer i felt like vomitting (11/30). im not sure how long its going to take before my body gets used to going to the gym, but i do hope that it's sometime soon. my limbs get all sore, i cant walk up the stairs for a few hours, or down the stairs for that matter. my legs get all shakey, it's a mess. and i bruise up easily. planks are not my best friends. my the capillaries in my palm break with the quicks and its looks deadly, all bruised up and gross. literally an hour of blood and sweat, minus the tears 'cause i just wont let that happen. i would like to run the marathon next year, but i know that i have to get in shape, so im attempting to do just that: watch my intake, get my cardio days in, and stick to my strength training days. j-bps put me on to greek style yogurt, fage (fah-yeh). sprinkle some honey on it and im good to go. quick protein fix after the gym.

let there be snow: im looking out of my patient's window right now, and i cant see a thing. the snow is thick and fluffy, and its nice from up here, but it wont be so nice when its time to go home! the traffic is backed up for miles, all you can see are the headlights of the cars going south on ogden. this xmas weekend i'm going to lake geneva for the first time. i'll be going with s.'s family. snow mobiles and sleigh rides and all things winter and cold. yay. haha, jkjk. fun times are ahead im sure. definitely a highlight for my month.

iduno what else can go with my "let there be..." theme. ha. im trying to get a post in before having to chart again, or before my patient's light goes off. things have been alright. decided not to take the extra job i was looking into, but i'll look for another one after the holidays. i just feel really shady about talking about getting another job when folks are having problems keeping their one and only jobs. eh. i would like to throw a shoe at him too. anywhoo's, ive run into some people from long ago and far away. did high school really end 11 years ago? yikes. it was refreshing to run into some delightful faces this past weekend. it just shed some much needed light. egp and i had dinner last night. that was fabulous as always. definitely gona try to get back into community stuffs. that would make me happy.

*sigh* life will work itself out.

just let it be.